Cholesterol Education Gifts

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Criminal Germs

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Remember to always brush your teeth!

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

"Out of the way amateur!"

'You need more fiber and less cholesterol in your diet. Throw out the eggs you bought and eat the carton they came in.'

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'

'Along with the gusto, you also grabbed high blood pressure and big time cholesterol.'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

AIDS prevention

'My doctor says I need more good cholesterol. I think this sausage is as good as it gets.'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"I love kids but my doctor says they're bad for my cholesterol."

"O.K. Kindergarten friends, let's sing together... 'If you're happy and you know it - and you've washed your hands for at least 20 seconds and you've squirted some sanitizer on them - clap your hands.'"

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'

'Go to the butcher and have him send the large goose which has enough cholesterol to do them all in,to the Cratchits.'

"NO SMOKING PILL"

"Covid-19 on port bow!"

"... and that this ham we're eating has enough sodium to give us high blood pressure. That's what I learned in school today."

'But I take the pill everytime I become pregnant, and it doesn't help.'