Cholesterol Consciousness Gifts

'It's a suicide note, apparently he was riddled with cholesterol.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'You need more fiber and less cholesterol in your diet. Throw out the eggs you bought and eat the carton they came in.'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

'My doctor says I need more good cholesterol. I think this sausage is as good as it gets.'

'The 'senior special' was two eggs, bacon, ham, cheese, hash browns and buttered toast for only $1.99. However, the two cholesterol lowering pills, I had to take, were four dollars each.'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"I love kids but my doctor says they're bad for my cholesterol."

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'

'Go to the butcher and have him send the large goose which has enough cholesterol to do them all in,to the Cratchits.'

"I don't think using a nail to stop the scale's indicator from moving is a good way to manage your weight."

Health Shops

'I've tried to be good, but facts are facts, I'm bad cholesterol.'

'You have to get your cholesterol down - Stop sucking eggs.'

'Well, sweetie, you got a prize. Why it's a cholesterol decoder ring!'

'I knew there was a catch. Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight servings.'

"And, on the lowest end of the caloric spectrum, we offer a leather chew toy."

Cholesterol, No Cholesterol.

'You have really bad cholesterol.'

'Robust overtones of steak and chips with a pronounced cholesterol finish.'

'Your cholesterol is high.'

It's a suicide note, apparently he was riddled with cholesterol.