Cholesterol Awareness Gifts

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

"Polly wants a flu shot."

Good egg, bad egg.

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

'You need more fiber and less cholesterol in your diet. Throw out the eggs you bought and eat the carton they came in.'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

The Walrus and the Spoilsport

"Is this a trick question?"

"I love kids but my doctor says they're bad for my cholesterol."

AIDS prevention

'The 'senior special' was two eggs, bacon, ham, cheese, hash browns and buttered toast for only $1.99. However, the two cholesterol lowering pills, I had to take, were four dollars each.'

Clown with balloons to diabetic: 'Hey, could you take your shot over there?'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

'My doctor says I need more good cholesterol. I think this sausage is as good as it gets.'

'Of course it's not downloading your iTunes. That's your 24-hour heart monitor.'

"Sergio, just for you, I made this cake glucose free.... I don't know how to make glucose free."

Get your shot!

Radiant

Good egg, bad egg.

"The NHS will honour it's pledge to care for everybody from cradle to grave(ly ill)"

'You have to get your cholesterol down - Stop sucking eggs.'

'Well, sweetie, you got a prize. Why it's a cholesterol decoder ring!'

Smoker: Heart Problems.

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.

"Yes, I have taken my medication. Have you taken your medication?"

Nurse takes man's blood pressure, man floats like a baloon.

Cholesterol, No Cholesterol.

"Your ear trouble is classed by loud noises in the air, your nose tube is caused by strange smells in the air, and your throat trouble is caused by weird particles in the air."