Cholesterol Cautionary Gifts

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Sawdust.

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

Patient sees smiling doctor and mean-looking doctor: 'Oh, I get it ? it's the old good cholesterol/bad cholesterol routine.'

Good egg, bad egg.

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

'You need more fiber and less cholesterol in your diet. Throw out the eggs you bought and eat the carton they came in.'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

'With my new heart I have to worry about cholesterol.'

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

The Walrus and the Spoilsport

I'll call for an ambulance. He's losing choleseterol.

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"I love kids but my doctor says they're bad for my cholesterol."

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

'My doctor says I need more good cholesterol. I think this sausage is as good as it gets.'

'The 'senior special' was two eggs, bacon, ham, cheese, hash browns and buttered toast for only $1.99. However, the two cholesterol lowering pills, I had to take, were four dollars each.'

Welcome at the Healthful Restaurant. We allow neither cholesterol, GM food, colourings, dust nor guests.

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'

'Go to the butcher and have him send the large goose which has enough cholesterol to do them all in,to the Cratchits.'

Wait a minute! What about those reports that worms are terribly high in cholesterol?

'Me? I thought I was paying you to watch my cholesterol!'

Good egg, bad egg.

'I've tried to be good, but facts are facts, I'm bad cholesterol.'

'You have to get your cholesterol down - Stop sucking eggs.'

'Well, sweetie, you got a prize. Why it's a cholesterol decoder ring!'