Cholesterol Counselor Gifts

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You're completely screwed up."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

So, when did I realize I was a control freak, doc?…

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

Good egg, bad egg.

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

'The thin person inside you screaming to get out seems to have cholesterol poisoning.'

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

He's crying again. Should he see a therapist?

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

' ... and a side order of statins.'

'You need more fiber and less cholesterol in your diet. Throw out the eggs you bought and eat the carton they came in.'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

'David, I want you tested for steroids.'

'Step One...a pie chart is not dessert.'

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

"Have you considered laughing into the abyss?"

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

'My psychiatrist told me to take up a hobby, so I became a psychiatrist.'

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me."