Chimney Inspector Gifts

"He always falls for that trick."

"Keep a lookout."

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Rust test in progress.

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

'That's subsidence Sir Bryan - The charts are over here.'

'You forgot the product label.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Under New Mismanagement

“It’s a pre-war building, but you’ll see they’ve kept most of the details.”

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'I hate the new building inspector. He can smell fear a mile away.'

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

Damn these sprinklers and government fire regulations.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'Don't worry. Big Al will take care of it.'

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti

'I'm afraid we have to let you go, Carl, you're just an accident waiting to happen.'

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

'I don't know how much longer we can keep paying off these building inspectors.'

What code violations?