Fire Inspector Gifts

"Sorry to hear about our warehouse fire? Quiet! It doesn't happen until tomorrow!"

"Do you guys have an emergency evacuation plan?"

"I'm here to assess the camp fire safety."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Your lobster was off!

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

All Natural Nothing

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Fire door.

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"I'm going in."

'That's subsidence Sir Bryan - The charts are over here.'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'