Construction Inspector Gifts

'You say it's a boat, I say it's a house, and it's not up to code.'

'I found the termites!'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'The roof needs icing.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

"Homes on Holmes"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Rust test in progress.

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'That's subsidence Sir Bryan - The charts are over here.'

"Office of quality assurance"

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'You forgot the product label.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."