Chimney Diver Gifts

'Six-point-seven seconds. You're going to have to do a lot better than that if you expect to finish all of North America in three hours.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'Mum, why are we called seagulls?'

'Isn't it great?!'

Christmas card access

2019, 2020 and 2021

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

The Winter Chimney Cleaner

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

Sanitizer

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

Information. If you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, how did it get there in the first place?

"He always falls for that trick."

The Postman's Winter Delivery

'Damn. I managed to get down this one last year...'

"Cor, what a site!"

Heavenly Recycling Centre

"Keep a lookout."

Farmer Pickles never knew how close he came to having the perfect Christmas.

'Atkins Diet, my Aunt Fanny!'

'You mean, it's not a laundry chute?'

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'

'Oh, sure... Now someone shows up!'

Factory Chimney

"I said it's not often one gets one's chimney swept by a person with a B.A. from Sarah Lawrence."

"I told you, Nick...someone your age shouldn't be haulin heavy sacks up and down chimneys!"

'You guys are keeping a sharp lookout, right?'

Soot Nav.

"No - I've never heard of the mile low club."

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