Chilli Challenger Pillows

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

Tension filled the tent.

Too much cilantro

Lawnmower

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"You and your daft inventions."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"She's missing out on her entire vacation."

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

"It'll never be ready in time."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"You know... if we don't find some ambition we could find ourselves still just laying around years from now." "Sounds good to me!"

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

Spring cleaning.

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'One extra hot red chilli curry, $10. One super spicy vindaloo, $12.50. The look on your face when it comes out the other end... priceless.'

'I'd like to see him do that with your cooking...'

"They won't work!!!"

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.