Chisel Challenger Pillows

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

Lawnmower

"You and your daft inventions."

The Sculptor

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Sculptor's chippings

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"This song asks the musical question: "Can anyone here show me how to play an e-minor chord?"

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Spring cleaning.

"They won't work!!!"

Sculpting

Sculptor with falling rocks sign.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

A man carves a totem pole

Tree Game Shows... Don't Get Stumped

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

Rodin's Block

Old man learning to ice skate

Caution Falling Rocks