Chisel Challenger Pillows

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Lawnmower

"You and your daft inventions."

The Sculptor

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

Sculptor's chippings

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Spring cleaning.

"They won't work!!!"

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

Sculpting

Sculptor with falling rocks sign.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

Caution Falling Rocks

Old man learning to ice skate

Rodin's Block

A man carves a totem pole

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'