Chisel Champion Pillows

'I hate Mondays!'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

An Artist Until the End.

The First Tattoo

Sculpture.

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

Family working together

The Sculptor

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

"Any ideas? I'm terrible with cursive writing."

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

Sculptor's chippings

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"Hey, the last thing I want to do is annoy you. That's actually ninth on my to-do list."

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

'He's won an exotic holiday to Easter Island and it's gone straight to his head.'

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

Beating Dad at Chess.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

Dating Agency: "I am looking for a man whose hobbies are, washing up, dusting and ironing."

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

"Yes, I can multi-task. Why do you ask?"