Checkered Challenger Pillows

Chess Disagreements

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Lawnmower

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

Earl and Lance struggle with their new invention, Chessers."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

Spring cleaning.

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

"Here's your problem."

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

Old man learning to ice skate

'Checkmate!'

"Your good cholesterol has come under the influence of your bad cholesterol."

'I don't understand. Is our performance going up or down?'

10 items or less

'See a doctor. Your cholesterol is twice your weight.'

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."