Checkup Challenger Pillows

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

Lawnmower

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"So what brings you in today?"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

Please seat to be weighted.

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

Spring cleaning.

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

Edna's Doctor Fantasy

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"This is doing nothing for my abs."

10 items or less

"Your good cholesterol has come under the influence of your bad cholesterol."