Checkup Challenger Pillows

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

Lawnmower

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"So what brings you in today?"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

Please seat to be weighted.

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

Spring cleaning.

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

Edna's Doctor Fantasy

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

"This is doing nothing for my abs."

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

In case of computer breakdown break glass

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

10 items or less

"Your good cholesterol has come under the influence of your bad cholesterol."