Checkered Challenger Gifts

Chess Disagreements

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

Lawnmower

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

Earl and Lance struggle with their new invention, Chessers."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

"This song asks the musical question: "Can anyone here show me how to play an e-minor chord?"

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

Spring cleaning.

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

"Here's your problem."

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

'Checkmate!'

10 items or less

"Your good cholesterol has come under the influence of your bad cholesterol."

Old man learning to ice skate

'I don't understand. Is our performance going up or down?'

'See a doctor. Your cholesterol is twice your weight.'

'I'm concerned about your cholesterol level.'