Chemotherapy Gifts

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Postwar is hell."