Chemist Customer Gifts

'I'm sorry lady, we're all sold out!'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Interdisciplinary studies.

The Style of Elements

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

Scientists are sexy

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

Sexual chemistry set

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.