Chemotherapy T-Shirts

"They got it all 'Chemosabe'."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Licensed Therapist

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."