Chef-in-the-making T-Shirts

"So that's a three bird roast."

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

Will work for Food Network.

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

Boy baking a cake.

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

Microwave confusion.

French bread

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

'Too much salt!'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

Baker

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

'Just call me Delia...'

'The vast potential of stem cells...and we use them to make a hamburger!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'We were playing Doctor and I was sterilizing the gloves.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"I can't wait to go home and replace all your sports channels with cooking channels."

Frittering a Banana by Electricity.