Uspiring Chef T-Shirts

"The usual"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Witch's Brew.

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Come and get it!'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Tzatzikicicle

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

French bread

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

Spatula Conductor

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Artist and chiken

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

'Just call me Delia...'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Baker

"I was in a different place then."

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'It looks exactly like the picture in the recipe book except for the burnt bits.'

Jo Jo Was Anything But a Quitter.

"So that's a three bird roast."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"No, dear. This meal isn't undercooked, you just haven't burnt it, for a change."

'Sue, the poltergeist has made us another cake.'