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"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

The real master chef challenge

"The chef suggests you help him unload last week's salmon."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'It's delicious. Who cooked it?'

"We try to give him a realistic outlook on life."

'He wants to be a T.V chef like that Gordon Ramsay-he knows all the words,bless him!'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'Ma, I got that job. Get over here quick and show me how to wash dishes!'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"No, dear. This meal isn't undercooked, you just haven't burnt it, for a change."

"The kitchen is my canvas!"

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

"You know what, the recipe for crackers is quite simple. How about we try to bake some instead of begging for them all the time?"

"I can't decide if I want to grow up to be a pediatric heart surgeon or a celebrity chef."

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

"The presentation is poor the peas undercooked and the chicken dinosaurs need more seasoning."

'Son, do you think I'm ready for my own cooking show?'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

'Hi, I saw your ad and I'm interested in the entree-level position!'

'Just call me Delia...'

'Thank goodness for salt and pepper.'

"It's the first time I've cooked Christmas dinner.. so I'm doing a salad."

Jo Jo Was Anything But a Quitter.

'...mix porridge oats, butter, and golden syrup...Rurghh!...then bake for fifteen minutes'?! Oh well, maybe next lifetime, Delia...'

"I think I figured out what that burning smell was."

'I just killed a big gray thing with bumps all over it - how about you folks come over for dinner?'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"You don't have any cooking experience? We should be able to get you a job at a hospital cafeteria."

A School for Cooks.

Cookbooks, diet books, eating disorders