Ambitious Chef T-Shirts

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Better Not Squash.

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Come and get it!'

Tzatzikicicle

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Sushi Train Set.

Cooking With Pollock.

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

French bread

Spatula Conductor

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

Artist and chiken

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

"To be honest it's not char-grilled, it's actually hydrogen-fluoride lasered chicken."

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Football Pudding

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Who wants to lick the swatters.