Ambitious Chef T-Shirts

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Better Not Squash.

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Come and get it!'

Tzatzikicicle

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sushi Train Set.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

Spatula Conductor

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

French bread

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

'Just call me Delia...'

Artist and chiken

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

"To be honest it's not char-grilled, it's actually hydrogen-fluoride lasered chicken."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

Football Pudding

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'