Imaginative Chef T-Shirts

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Chez Nous Menu

Children's Feast.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

The Origins of Everything

Witch's Brew.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Quartet of chefs.

Tzatzikicicle

Cook in the cookery section.

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Cooking With Pollock.

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

Spatula Conductor

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'It's her signature dish.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

Salvador Deli

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

Artist and chiken

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

"To be honest it's not char-grilled, it's actually hydrogen-fluoride lasered chicken."

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

Comment on food.

Who wants to lick the swatters.

Wow. That was a lot faster. (Published originally on October 20, 2011.)

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."