Aspiring Cook T-Shirts

'Is this fish fresh? Don't ask me, I've only been here two weeks.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

Boy baking a cake.

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

French bread

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"I can't wait to go home and replace all your sports channels with cooking channels."

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

'Hi, I saw your ad and I'm interested in the entree-level position!'

"We try to give him a realistic outlook on life."

Jo Jo Was Anything But a Quitter.

'Amazing - No sooner do we invent cooking than we get the first celebrity chef.'

'Son, do you think I'm ready for my own cooking show?'

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

"You don't have any cooking experience? We should be able to get you a job at a hospital cafeteria."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"No, dear. This meal isn't undercooked, you just haven't burnt it, for a change."

"So that's a three bird roast."

'Would you believe it the E.U. have put a cap on the numbers of celebrity chefs we can have!'

'Trust me, kids. Everything tastes better at the ballpark.'