Aspiring Gourmand T-Shirts

"I'll have the steak tartar. Make sure it's well done!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

French bread

"Ciiiiiilaaaantrooooo."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

'Just call me Delia...'

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"All the adventure is gone since the bred out all the Trichinosis."

"So - we'll go for Bouillabaisse then, shall we?"

Books in the 'Food Section' of a library have been half eaten.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"You don't have any cooking experience? We should be able to get you a job at a hospital cafeteria."

'Is this fish fresh? Don't ask me, I've only been here two weeks.'

'I just saw this fall out of a chicken's bum...let's eat it!'

"No, dear. This meal isn't undercooked, you just haven't burnt it, for a change."

'Hi, I saw your ad and I'm interested in the entree-level position!'

Jo Jo Was Anything But a Quitter.

'Son, do you think I'm ready for my own cooking show?'