Chefs-in-training T-Shirts

'No need for the Fancy Dress - you've only boiled me an egg.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Chez Nous Menu

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

Will work for Food Network.

"On. More. Try."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Boy baking a cake.

Beef Stew.

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

'I think we've done it, Igor! This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

French bread

Mozart eating noodles.

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

'Too much salt!'

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?