Chef's Apprentice T-Shirts

Will work for Food Network.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Turkey Autopsy

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Boy baking a cake.

Boys Cooking

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

French bread

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

'Too much salt!'

'Just call me Delia...'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

Mess Hall. The new recruit was assigned to kitchen duty. We have a private chef!

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'We were playing Doctor and I was sterilizing the gloves.'

"I can't wait to go home and replace all your sports channels with cooking channels."

'He says he's training to be a world champion weightlifter - With a knife and fork.'

"Remember, never put all your eggs into one omelet."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"No, dear. This meal isn't undercooked, you just haven't burnt it, for a change."