Trainee Chef T-Shirts

"Remember, never put all your eggs into one omelet."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Turkey Autopsy

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Will work for Food Network.

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

Boys Cooking

Boy baking a cake.

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"On. More. Try."

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

French bread

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

'Too much salt!'

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

Mess Hall. The new recruit was assigned to kitchen duty. We have a private chef!

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"