Cheeky Sports Truth-teller Gifts

'I'm sorry, we can't declare you the winner. You have high blood pressure.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Your shoe's untied.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

Trojan Hurdler.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

"Are you pleased to see me or is that a vuvuzela down your trousers?"

Magician Playing Golf.