Cheeky Reader Gifts

Book ratings.

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'

Library - Cats for Dummies.

'NO- I am NOT warming the pot!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

Sticking out tongue

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

"I do diet...between snacks."

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

The Height of Impudence.

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

The King's New Robes.

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

Thong World.

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Big Issue!'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

Keister Island.