Cheeky Guzzler Pillows

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Quick swig first?"

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Sticking out tongue

Hen Night

"I do diet...between snacks."

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

"Your dump or mine..?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Thong World.

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

Ass-teroids

"You awake?"

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"