Cheeky Drinkers Pillows

"So... you've decided to turn your neurons into morons."

'A cheeky red?'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Quick swig first?"

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Sticking out tongue

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

'You may indeed be 'under the weather', but let's just see if the 34 pints of lager two bottles of scotch and 6 Christmas dinners had anything to do with it.'

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

"Gentlemen - raise your glasses'

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

Trendy new La Croix flavors

"You awake?"

"It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's ok."

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

'You can eat anything you want on this diet, but there's a strict limit on what you can swallow.'

'And for the sports minded. . . there's the £100 trip up to my flat.'

'My balls are freezing!'

'Do I get credit for car wash?'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

I Will Not Chew My Pencil

"NICE white bits!"

Now that's what I call a Twinkle.

'I hate to ask this on my first day... but can you loan me about 650.00?'

Thumb your nose at an authority figure.