Cheeky Chewers Pillows

I Will Not Chew My Pencil

"Quick swig first?"

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Hen Night

"I do diet...between snacks."

The Height of Impudence.

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

Squeaker Trophies

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

'I had no idea a puppy could be so destructive.'

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

"It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's ok."

"You awake?"

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

'You can eat anything you want on this diet, but there's a strict limit on what you can swallow.'

Weight loss clinic, in and out doors.

An idle lap is the devil's workbench.

"...and then there's the small matter of that ball you planted on the fourth green."

"The end of my rawhide is near."

"I'll stick with the rubber pork chop."

'Great job! Now cover the other eye.'

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

"So baby, how about coming back to mine for a quick roll in the shit?"

'Your Mom's going to happy hour. Let's order pizza.'

'Sign here please.'

'Get naked - I need an endorphin fix.'