Cheeky Chewers Pillows

I Will Not Chew My Pencil

"Quick swig first?"

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Hen Night

"I do diet...between snacks."

The Height of Impudence.

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

Squeaker Trophies

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

"It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's ok."

"You awake?"

'I had no idea a puppy could be so destructive.'

'You can eat anything you want on this diet, but there's a strict limit on what you can swallow.'

"I'll stick with the rubber pork chop."

Weight loss clinic, in and out doors.

An idle lap is the devil's workbench.

"...and then there's the small matter of that ball you planted on the fourth green."

"The end of my rawhide is near."

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

"So baby, how about coming back to mine for a quick roll in the shit?"

'Your Mom's going to happy hour. Let's order pizza.'

'Sign here please.'

'Get naked - I need an endorphin fix.'

"So... you've decided to turn your neurons into morons."