Cheeky Guzzler Gifts

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

"Quick swig first?"

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Sticking out tongue

Hen Night

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

Thong World.

"Your dump or mine..?"

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Big Issue!'

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

Ass-teroids

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

"You awake?"