Cheeky Foodie Pillows

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'Hey, honey bun!'

'Tasty bird.'

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Stand back - while I whip something up

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

'I recommend looking down your wife's top, sir.'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Eye of Newt Helper

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

"Trust you to pick a restaurant that serves indigestion tablets rather than after dinner mints."

"Why are called Double Bacon Whopper?"

"It's adjusted for inflation. A dollar a chip."

"... Flirting with your boyfriend?... Oh, sorry dear. I thought he was the waiter."

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert."

"Wanna chill at my place?"