Cheeky Culinarian Pillows

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Christmas Canapes

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Sticking out tongue

"I do diet...between snacks."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

Salvador Deli

Mixing Business and Pleasure

"Your dump or mine..?"

"Wanna chill at my place?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'When I asked what you're in the mood for, I meant, foodwise!'

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

Easter Island

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

Clean Fill Wanted

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

Football Fantasies

'If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it's a genetically modified potato.'

"It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's ok."

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."