Cheeky Culinarian Gifts

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Sticking out tongue

Christmas Canapes

"I do diet...between snacks."

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Salvador Deli

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

Mixing Business and Pleasure

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Big Issue!'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

'When I asked what you're in the mood for, I meant, foodwise!'

Easter Island

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

Clean Fill Wanted

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

Football Fantasies

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

'If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it's a genetically modified potato.'

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

"It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's ok."