Cheeky Chef Gifts

'Nice try...'

Rat with a suggestion for a messy kitchen.

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Stupid Microwave

Amy Sedaris

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'What the devil is that?

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

Sticking out tongue

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Artichoking victim

Christmas Canapes

101 things to do with lutefisk.

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"What are you making, Tia Carmen?"

"Let's start a new tradition! You're each responsible for one thanksgiving dish!"

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."