Chatty Chef Gifts

"Don is more like network, and Evan is more like cable."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Sushi Train Set.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

Christmas Canapes

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Stand back - while I whip something up

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

Noodle exchange program.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

Football Pudding

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

'Blackened Fish: Cook until the smoke detector goes off.'

Today's Special: Cream of Leftovers

'And none of yor deflationary wit - just attend to the bar-b-q-.'

'I'll tell you what's for dinner if you'll promise not to laugh.'

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

"I heard we're now legal in some states."

Boiling Point

'When I asked what you're in the mood for, I meant, foodwise!'

'Leave us alone, you big bully!'