Chatty Chef Gifts

"Don is more like network, and Evan is more like cable."

"Now I have your attention, when will the dinner be ready?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Sushi Train Set.

Christmas Canapes

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

Stand back - while I whip something up

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

Noodle exchange program.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

Football Pudding

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

"I heard we're now legal in some states."

'Blackened Fish: Cook until the smoke detector goes off.'

Today's Special: Cream of Leftovers

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

'I'll tell you what's for dinner if you'll promise not to laugh.'

'When I asked what you're in the mood for, I meant, foodwise!'

'And none of yor deflationary wit - just attend to the bar-b-q-.'

Boiling Point