Cheeky Elder Pillows

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Geezer.

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Sticking out tongue

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Justice for a heckler.

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

"Wanna chill at my place?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

At the Old Bikers' Home

'My dad is a CEO - don't trust him!'

Easter Island

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'