Cheeky Chap Pillows

Young Boy Saying Goodbye At The Trainstation.

"I'm sorry, God! We don't allow all-knowing people at our roulette tables."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Geezer.

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Sticking out tongue

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Justice for a heckler.

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

The Height of Impudence.

"Your dump or mine..?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'Big Issue!'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'My dad is a CEO - don't trust him!'

Easter Island

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Jimmy Green won't be at school today, this is my father speaking...