Cheeky Elder Gifts

'Franklin's waiting for the Google 'Street View' car to drive by so he can moon it.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Geezer.

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Sticking out tongue

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Justice for a heckler.

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'Big Issue!'

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

At the Old Bikers' Home

'My dad is a CEO - don't trust him!'

Easter Island

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'