Charmingly Cheeky Pillows

Schoolboy.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Sticking out tongue

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Rosie Cheeks

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

'Big Issue!'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

Easter Island

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."