Charmingly Cheeky Gifts

Schoolboy.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Sticking out tongue

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

Rosie Cheeks

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

Easter Island

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

Clean Fill Wanted

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."