Charmingly Cheeky Cowboy Gifts

"If you kick her with the left spur, she'll give you more lumbar support."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Artists of the wild west.

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Domestic Pardners

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

Sticking out tongue

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

The Language of Love

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'Big Issue!'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

"I don't think so, Ted!"

'I don't know about you, Tex, but I thought that the relationship between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy was darn tootin'.'

"It was an ambush Sheriff, Injuns, didn't see what tribe, but they were real young!"

Easter Island

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

"No, thanks, Tex - it makes me queasy just watching you."

"It's kind of a trademark thing. I shoot first. Then I ask a question. Then I yodel."

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

Clean Fill Wanted

'You're right, there's nothing in the rules against it.'

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'