Charmingly Cheeky Cowboy Gifts

"If you kick her with the left spur, she'll give you more lumbar support."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Artists of the wild west.

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Domestic Pardners

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

Sticking out tongue

The Language of Love

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"Your dump or mine..?"

"I don't think so, Ted!"

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'I don't know about you, Tex, but I thought that the relationship between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy was darn tootin'.'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

"It was an ambush Sheriff, Injuns, didn't see what tribe, but they were real young!"

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Easter Island

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Football Fantasies

'You're right, there's nothing in the rules against it.'

"No, thanks, Tex - it makes me queasy just watching you."

"It's kind of a trademark thing. I shoot first. Then I ask a question. Then I yodel."

Clean Fill Wanted

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'