Chandelier Aficionado Gifts

Old woman with a chandelier for a lamp.

I've been replaced by another crony!

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Hildegard von Bingen

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

A Zircon Is Forever

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

Board Game Hunter

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

Den Furniture

Granny squashing cats tail with rocking chair

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

The Fuse

Doulton Canada Geese

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

"All in favor of the old, uncomfortable chairs?"

Ali Baba- Cover Design for Proposed Edition of The Forty Thieves

Robotic Flower Arranging

'With our romantic candlelight dinner, I'm obligated to include a safe-sex warning.'

Naked Furniture

"It sounds as if it's going to be three hours with our legs crossed in Frank Gehry chairs. You go if you want."

The Blings - collectors of jewelry.

"I need something that says ‘You were right about Trump.’"

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

Eye-catching Diamond rings.