Ceremony Participant With Food Allergies Pillows

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

Gluten-Free Church

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

"Are there nuts in this?"

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"It's the gluten-free edition."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"It's gluten/carb/fat/preservative/sugar-free. Enjoy your Celery Supreme."

Does this contain garlic?

"Here's Pollen!"

"What? I have a nut allergy."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."