Food Allergy Survivors Pillows

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Gluten-free Santa

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"The tests came back positive. You're H2O intolerant."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"Are there nuts in this?"

"It's the gluten-free edition."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Gluten-Free Church

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

'I stopped to smell the flowers. Where's my inhaler?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."