Food Allergy Survivor Pillows

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

Gluten-free Santa

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

Gluten-Free Church

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Are there nuts in this?"

"It's the gluten-free edition."

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"What? I have a nut allergy."

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."