Food Allergy Warriors Pillows

The Last Thanksgiving

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

Gluten-free Santa

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

Protecting Nature

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"You can domesticate it, but only if it's hypoallergenic."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

Gluten-Free Church

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"Are there nuts in this?"

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

'Look - there's the first swallow of summer.'

'I have allergies, so before I can eat you, I need to know if you contain traces of nuts...'

"It's gluten/carb/fat/preservative/sugar-free. Enjoy your Celery Supreme."

"What? I have a nut allergy."